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LDRS - The Final Test for Every Couple

This letter is dedicated to the one I love most.

This article is also available in [Burmese]

(Read Time: 20 Minutes)

When I used to listen to songs about long-distance lovers, I never really understood them. The stories I heard of people in the past writing letters, trying desperately to talk on the phone—they didn’t seem real to me. I thought Romeo and Juliet were cliché.

I was so wrong.

Love is an immense power in this world. It’s an intangible energy that can either destroy a person or lift them to their most incredible heights. When you have to navigate such a force from a distance, how do you overcome the challenges?

I’m not someone who follows the norms of this modern age. I don’t understand dating apps, flirting, or the manipulative strategies a friend once told me about. If I love someone, I love them. That’s it. You could call me old school. I’m someone who prefers a traditional way, someone who enjoys talking in person far more than over the phone, and who prefers a phone call over a text message. In this kind of situation, how does one build a long-distance relationship (LDRS)?

Part 1: What is a Long Distance Relationship?

When we say long distance, we mean lovers who are far apart. But “far apart” doesn’t just mean geographical distance.

International: This is the most common form. One person is in Myanmar, the other is in the UK. The time zones are different, the cultures are different, and daily life is different.
Different Cities: In the same country, but in situations like Yangon and Mandalay, where meetings are difficult.
Psychological Distance: Even if you live in the same township, if you don’t have the freedom to meet in person due to family or other circumstances, that can also be considered a form of LDRS.

The challenges of each of these situations may differ, but the core struggles that everyone faces are almost the same.

Part 2: The Core Challenges of LDRS

1. Communication: The Limits of Words

When two people talk, they communicate not just with their mouths and ears, but with their body language, gestures, eyes, and the tone and meaning of their voice. All of these things are lost in a phone call or a video call.

Missed Cues: You might say “okay” in a single word, but your facial expression could show how tired you are. Over the phone, the word “okay” can be interpreted as meaning “I’m not interested.”
Extra Effort: That’s why in an LDRS, you have to try harder to explain things with words. You have to express your feelings precisely and take the time to make the other person understand. The excuse “I don’t feel like talking” is poison in an LDRS.

2. Trust: The Battlefield of Doubt

A single sentence like, “Love, I have class, so I can’t talk right now,” can give birth to two different streams of thought.

One Person’s Thought: “My phone battery is low. I won’t have enough charge to call them tonight. I need to borrow a charger.”
The Other Person’s Thought: “They hung up without explaining properly. This isn’t their usual class time. What’s different today? Are they with someone else?”

These small thoughts can grow over time and become a cancer of mistrust.

3. Honesty and Openness

It’s human nature to be attracted to others. But in an LDRS, it’s much harder to handle these situations. When you’re craving affection and love, no matter how much your distant partner loves you, there’s a limit to what they can give. In those moments, the attention of someone nearby can become a temptation.

Furthermore, being hesitant to open up about your struggles can also poison the relationship. Hiding your problems with the excuse “I don’t want to worry them” can make the other person think, “Am I not a trustworthy person to them?”

Part 3: The Difference Between a True Partner and an Ordinary Boyfriend/Girlfriend

Amid these challenges, you will see whether the person with you is a true partner or just an ordinary boyfriend/girlfriend.

Signs of an Ordinary Partner:

They say they love you, but their actions make you feel like they hate you.
When you point out something you don’t like, they hide behind the excuse, “I’m just being needy because I want to be loved.”
They lie and deceive behind your back, using the excuse that they “just want attention.”
They start arguments over not posting a relationship status on Facebook or not giving a “react.”
They make decisions based on what the majority thinks is right, rather than on their judgment.
They are never there for you when you genuinely need them.

Signs of a True Partner:

They stand by your side, even when the whole world is against you.
They stay with you, even when you are at your worst.
They don’t just unquestioningly accept your flaws; they work with you to become a better person.
They love your dreams, their life becomes your hope, and your love becomes their world.

Part 4: How to Survive LDRS (The Digital Bridge)

These methods might not work for everyone, but they are powerful ways to build trust.

24/7 Communication: Stay on a call all the time. On iOS, that’s FaceTime. This creates a sense of closeness in each other’s daily lives.
Location Sharing: Use apps like Find My (iOS) always to share your location. This can reduce suspicion.
Open Access: Share the passwords to your apps like Facebook and Gmail. This shows that you have “nothing to hide” and demonstrates complete trust.
Never Lie: A single small lie can bring down the entire mansion of trust you’ve built.

Conclusion: The Final Test of Love

A friend once told me, “If you can survive an LDRS, you can survive anything that life throws at you.”

I am not a perfect partner. I have my flaws. But I am still trying to become a better person. Close your eyes. If you feel that with the person you love most, your partner, you have the power to create anything, then you have found a true partner. Their dreams are your dreams, their hope is your life, and your love is their world.

If not, then they are not more than someone you shouldn’t be involved with. It’s not too late to end it. A moment of heartbreak is much better than a lifetime of regret.